Read/Listen/Watch/Rent

READ: The Star of Athilien by Kendall Merk

This book is about two friends, Jonathon and Tristin who are your average everyday teenage boys growing up in america, until one day they stumble upon an alien named Elshin who takes them on a great adventure, and to a planet known as Athilien. The boys are told that they are needed to help restore the star of athilien (like the title) to save Elshin's home. This book is part one of a five part series, and it is a fun read. It is geared towards young adults, but if you are an admirer of Tolken or C.S. Lewis you can get into this easy. The author, Kendall Merk, is a friend of mine and I recommend everyone check this book out. Especially if you have kids, and the more people who enjoy this book, the faster Kendall will finish the series! So this is all a selfish plot of mine, because he wont tell me what happens next. Click here to purchase the book from Amazon for the low low price of 10.95!

LISTEN: Frontier Ruckus

What can I say about Frontier Ruckus? Everything about this band excites me. I first found out about them back in September by just searching for music on Google (google is a search engine, like Altavista.) The first song I listened to was "Orion Town". That sucked me in, and soon I found that "Orion Town" wasn't just a song, it was a life. I immediatly found everything I could from them, and bathed in the sound, the words. The band is a bunch of friends from Michigan, who come together and make me believe. I never feel like anything is forced, they arn't trying to be anything they are not. I cannot find one solid line that stands out more than any other. The lyrics are beautiful, and at times crushing. My buddy Nick, his friend Megan, Stacie and I got the chance to see these guys in Ames in October, and it was one of my favorite concert experiences ever. The band is not all that big yet (although, you can feel that they are on the cusp of being one of the elite bands of this soon coming decade), so to see them in concert was fun and relaxed. We got to talk to the band members and actually have conversations. I'll include a video, but you should watch all the ones you can find of them on YouTube. They made a film and just wondered around there backyards and timbers and played music. This song, "I Do Need Saving" is perhaps one of my current favorite songs. It's goregous. Enjoy.

WATCH: Clark and Michael

Clark Duke and Michael Cera. Magical. "Clark and Michael" is a 10 episode internet show from 2007 about the stars living together in LA and attempting to write a movie script. It is a mockumentary, shot like The Office, where the actors are completely aware of the cameras. Even though there are only 10 episodes and each episode is only a few minutes long, this is one of my all time favorite shows. Michael Cera kills in everything he is in (Note: I have not seen Year One), and Clark Duke, who I was not familiar with until this, steals a lot of scenes. I want more, I want these two to be on my Television weekly, but sadly we don't always get what want, just ask Mitch Hurwitz. Click here to visit the Clark and Michael website, where you can watch all 10 episodes. The show is full of great guest stars, like Tony Hale (Buster Bluth from Arrested Development), Andy Richter, David Cross, Tim and Eric (of Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job / Tom Goes to the Mayor fame), Jonah Hill, Jon Francis Daley and Martin Starr. Heres a Preview for ya:


RENT: The Squid and the Whale

The Squid and the Whale was written and directed by Noah Baumbach. He was the co-writer of The Life Aquatic and The Fantastic Mr. Fox with Wes Anderson, and since this movie he also wrote/directed Margo at the Wedding, another wonderful gem. The Squid and the Whale is a story of a family going through divorce, and how it effects everyone involved. The mother, a successful writer played by Laura Linney, finds solice in her youngest sons tennis instructer (who is played by a fucking baldwin. And no, not Alec. Not Stephen either.) The father, an unsuccessful writer played by Jeff Daniels, who never lets an audience down, starts to bang his young student, Anna Paquin. (Fun Fact: Daniels played Anna Paquin's father in the 1996 film Fly Away Home, and now, 9 short years later, she blows him on camera. Fun stuff). The children, Jesse Eisenberg who has shined recently in Zombieland and Adventureland, plays the disfunctional teen to a T. (what the fuck does "to a T" mean anyways?) And Eisenberg even gets a piece of Rogue too. And my favorite, Owen Kline, son of Kevin Kline, is the youngest son, a 10-11 year old who deals with his family meltdown in amazing ways, like drinking heavily in secret, masturbating in the school library and whiping it on lockers, and telling his father he is a philistine. Watch this, and I hope you like it.

My Favorite Fifty-ish Books of the Decade

Well I made lists for my favorite albums and films of the decades, and so I figured I'd do books too. However, I don't read as much as I'd like, and when I do read I read from all different decades, so this is a list of the books from this decade that I do really like and recommend. Like in my music and movie post, there is a lot of similarity, because I read what I know I'll enjoy.

2000
Sellevision by Augusten Burroughs
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
Down Under / In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson
Ignorance by Milan Kundera
best: Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi

2001
Choke by Chuck Palahniuk
How To Be Good by Nick Hornby
The Constant Gardner by John Le Carre
John Adams by David McCullough
Mystic River by Dennis Lehane
best: Pint-Sized Ireland by Evan McHugh

2002
Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs
Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk
best: Atonement by Ian McEwan

2003
31 Songs by Nick Hornby
Fugitives and Refugees: A Walk in Portland, Oregon by Chuck Palahniuk
Lies & the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair & Balanced Look at the Right by Al Franken
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto by Chuck Klosterman
The Fortress of Solitude by Jonathan Lethem
best: Dry by Augusten Burroughs

2004
Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroguhs
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris
The Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby
The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green by Joshua Braff
Stranger Than Fiction: True Stories by Chuck Palahniuk
America (The Book): A Citizens Guide to Democracy Inaction by Jon Stewart
Long Way Round by Charley Boorman and Ewan McGregor
best: Chronicles Volume One by Bob Dylan

2005
A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby
Oh the Glory of it All by Sean Wilsey
The Tender Bar by J.R. Moehringer
Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell
1776 by David McCullough
best: A Man Without a Country by Kurt Vonnegut

2006
Housekeeping vs The Dirt by Nick Hornby
The Audacity of Hope by Barrack Obama
The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid by Bill Bryson
What is the What: The Autobiography of Valentino Achak Deng by Dave Eggers
best: Possible Side Effects by Augusten Burroughs

2007
An Arsonist's Guide to Writers' Homes in New England: A Novel by Brock Clarke
I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert
No One Belongs Here More Than You: Stories by Miranda July
Rant by Chuck Palahniuk
best: Slam by Nick Hornby

2008
A Wolf at the Table by Augusten Burroughs
When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris
Armageddon in Retrospect by Kurt Vonnegut (posthumous)
The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell
Downtown Owl: A Novel by Chuck Klosterman
The Film Club by David Gilmour
best: Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk

2009
Look at the Birdie by Kurt Vonnegut (posthumous)
Inklings by Jeff Koterba
Where Men Win Glory: The Odyssey of Pat Tillman by Jon Krakauer
best: Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby

This Just In: The Chiefs Win The Super Bowl!!!

So the Kansas City Chiefs have their 3rd losing season in a row. But don't worry folks, cause I got me a hunch. What is that hunch? Well, only this:

That's right folks, I'm calling it right now. The Kansas City Chiefs WILL win Super Bowl XLVI in Indianapolis in 2012.

Now, this may seem impossible, but I have a plan, so don't fucking worry. Here is how it will all play out....

-In the 2010 draft, the Chiefs will have one of the top 3 picks. I think Mr. Pioli will do

everything in his power to bring in this fella:

That's right. I think Ndamukong Suh will keep wearing RED once he hits the NFL. Suh will have big games at home against Jacksonville, Oakland, and Tennessee aswell as on the road at Houston and Seattle.

The Chiefs will make it to the postseason next season, with a record of either 10-6 0r 9-7 (depending on who the AFC East and North teams that are still TBD). The Chargers will again take the AFC West, but Kansas City will get the 2nd AFC wildcard spot. However, I think they will lose in the first round of the playoffs (probably to Cincinnati or Baltimore.)

Still, that will be a pretty good season, and a hell of a turn around.

-In the 2011 draft, the Chiefs will have a middle of the road pick, and I think they'll try for some offensive threats. Perhaps Golden Tate outta Notre Dame or Damian Williams from USC.

Either way, the Chiefs will have a pretty strong team going into the 2011 season. Cassel, Charles, Bowe, Tate/Williams/unnamed rookie WR/TE will be the offensive weapons. And Suh, Brandon Flowers and Donald Washington will lead one of the leagues best defenses.

The Chiefs will take the AFC West this season, edging out the Chargers, with a record of 13-3 or 12-4. (I call an upset of the Patriots in KC, but also a major loss to one of the NFC frontrunners, the Packers, in Green Bay).

I am not sure if the Chiefs will get a first round bye or not, but they will make it to the Championship game. (No clue who they will beat to get there).

In the AFC Championship game, the Kansas City Chiefs will play the Indianapolis Colts, who would be playing for a shot at a home field advantage in the Super Bowl.

All the Chiefs fans will be thinking of 2004, but unlike in that year, Kansas City will win this shoot out, advancing to the Super Bowl for the first time since beating the Vikings in 1970.

-So this leads us to Super Bowl 46 in Indianapolis. I call the Green Bay Packers vs the Kansas City Chiefs.

The Packers, who were the number 2 seed in the NFC behind the Matt Ryan led Falcons (who lost in the 2nd round, not sure to who), will be favored in the game.

The sportswriters will all focus on the parallels between Super Bowl 46 and Super Bowl 1, when these two teams met (Green Bay winning that game 35-10), and the fact that the Chiefs lost to Green Bay in the regular season.

The Chiefs will ultimatly win, 31-24. Matt Cassel will get the MVP trophy.

And that... is how I see it.

(NOTE: All the facts behind this are my own bullshit. Really, all I am guessing for sure is that the Chiefs will make it to the Super Bowl and Win in 2012.)

Sports? Well I like Sports

i love sports. i am not one of those folks who can spout off stats and scores, but i do love 'em. here are my most memorable sporting events of this last decade. now, i understand these aren't the "best" but, they are what stick with me when i think of sports from this decade.

may 15, 2003: San Antonio Spurs 110, Los Angeles Lakers 82
this was a big game. a very big game. the spurs (with Robinson and Duncan) won the Championship for the first time in 1999. my childhood hero The Admiral got himself a ring. it was perfect. then, for the next 3 years the fucking Los Angeles Lakers won 3 in a row. oh, awesome! you got shaq on your team! how neat!

but then, came this series. Phil Jackson's boys were looking pretty solid in there first 2 losses. and then put up 2 wins, tying the series at 2-2. time to sweat, we got the 3 time defending champs snowballing us. then came game 5, Spurs get the win by 2. this is going to be a massive, amazing, great, grand, wonderful game 6 right? possibly one of the best playoff series in NBA history right? the writers new it, LA was gonna take game 6, setting up a 32-overtime game 7 that would last for a week.

but that isn't what happened. Tim Duncan, the horse/man he is, had 37 points. the spurs never trailed after the first minute, and ended up winning the game a breezy 110-87. 23 points! SA put up 23 points on the 3 time defending champions, with Shaq and Kobe. what a game.

not only did the Spurs get the win, they went on to the finals, D-Rob got his second ring and retired. which was ok, cause of some new kids named tony and manu (am i saying that right) who along with some help from there great grand dad Bruce Bowen were going to have us right back in the finals 2 years later.

The Spurs had 3 championships in the 2000's, easily making them the most succesful team i follow, but none of the finals wins were as memorable to me as beating those dickhead Lakers.

january 11, 2004: Indianapolis Colts 38, Kansas City Chiefs 31
what a year! the chiefs started out 9-0, ended 13-3, Priest Holmes set the single season touchdown rushing record with 27, and Trent Green (fun fact: he was born in Cedar Rapids, just like Kurt Warner and Stacie. I am pretty sure Stacie could make it to the pro-bowl just because of her hometown.) got us a first round bye in the play offs.

then came the fateful day. no punts, a fucking shoot-out. i was working at a pizza hut in council bluffs and i had the radio blasting. the only time there wasn't points going up was half-time. dante hall had that 90-some yard kickoff return for a TD, opening our eyes to "the human joystick". when peyton manning ran those last 4 minutes down, i was livid.

but it was such an exciting game i was still happy. what a great season. it was a sign of things to come, Trent, Dante and Priest were gonna take us to the top. that was a fact!*
(*it was not fact.)

september 10, 2006: Cincinnati Bengals 23, Kansas City Chiefs 10
i call this game the beginning of the end. the chiefs, who just a few years before were looking like a premeir AFC team, were about to be fucked.

Trent Green, the best Chiefs quarterback in my memory, went to slide for a first down and was hit by D-end Robert Geathers. no foul was called, it wasn't a dirty play. just a shitty one. a really shitty one. it was game one, and our pro-bowl quarterback is gone.

the rest of the game doesn't matter. apperently some fieldgoals were kicked and few touchdowns, but the big loss was Green. He would never fully return to the NFL. poor bastard. atleast kurt warner got him that super bowl ring, that was nice of him.

in week 2, damon huard took over and dammit if he didn't do to bad. got KC to a 10-6 record, but missed the play offs. that would have won the NFC, but not in the AFC. with only a handful of wins over the next few seasons, and the firing of lackluster coach herm edwards, the chiefs were at an all time low. fucking bengals.

i was at our apartment in Ames, on Tripp Street watching this game. and it is like a recalling a dream. after Green went out, everything gets fuzzy.

june 2, 2008: Pittsburgh Penguins 4, Detroit Red Wings 3 (triple overtime)
oh doctor! what a game. penguins were back in the Stanley cup for the first time since the mid 90s, and with Sid the Kid leading the way, we got on the board early. Hossa and Hall (note: not jesse hall from the Mighty Ducks, adam hall, his white cousin) scored putting the pens up 2-0, but then those sons-o-bitches in red came back with 3 straight by some fellas whos names no one could ever learn to say so why try to read them?

well, nothing else happened until almost the end of the game when Maxime "the talbot" Talbot sunk one on chris os-not-good. (ya see what i did there?). the real tale of this game starts in extra periods, not the first or second of course, but in that third one. when Sykora booted it. my favorite stat of this game is that Detroit took took 58 shots in the game! thats 26 more shots then the Pens took to win it. dummies. Bell, Whistles, Win! look out Red Queens, Penguins are back in it!*
(*the penguins lost 2 days later, hopes/dreams ruined)


june 12, 2009: Pittsburgh Penguins 2, Detroit Red Wings 1
what a fucking year! changing coaches mid way through the season, during a slump, certainly made my heart sink. but then they blew through the Flyers (my 4th least favorite hockey team), took the Capitals (my 3rd least favorite hockey team) to 7 games and shut that douche alexander ovechkin up (how ya like that commrade?), and then beat the Carolina Hurricanes (who have a fucking stanley cup, but i really could care less about.) to get to the stanley cup, AGAIN, and play the Red Wings, AGAIN. (also, Detroit is my 2nd most hated hockey team. number 1, yep you guessed it, Boston Bruins.)

So here we are, just like last year except this time the Pens got to game 7. Look out Red Wings, we got this one. The game started off slow, with no goals in the 1st, and much like last year Sidney Crosby played more of a leader roll then a scorer, which is fine considering Mad "The Talbot" Talbot was on the ice. He was clutch, like last year, and scored both of the Pittsburgh's points.

when the siren rang, the penguins had done it. what everyone said they couldn't. they won a game 7, on the road, and beat the team that beat them the year before. i was at The Gigglin' Goat in Boone drinking when the game ended. it was a good night. no asterix.


november 22, 2009: Pittsburgh Steelers 24, Kansas City Chiefs 27
there it is. on the back of the worst 3 year skid in team history, the chiefs were still sliding. 2-7 Chiefs were about to take on the defending super bowl champs, 6-3 Pittsburgh Steelers.

the chiefs are trying. they got rid of Herm, they brought in Scott Pioli and Todd Haley and they did some wheeling and dealing to get 2008 superstar Matt Cassel. yes they are still losing, but atleast they are trying. after kicking a-number one-fuck head Larry Johnson off the team, it looked like distractions were out the window. (oh except Dwayne Bowe doing steroids, fucking my fantasty team) but still. who would bet on the Chiefs to beat the Steelers?

tied at 24 at the end of regulation after an exciting game including Studebaker picking off Rethlisaedadsgerearfdsarklalkjthaberdsfadler in the end zone, and then returing it to the Steelers 8. it was all up to 13 year old boy Ryan Succop (the last person drafted in the 2009 draft) to kick it through the up rights giving Chiefs the win.

not only did KC get the win, but some how Succop's kick automatically sent a text from my phone to my brother's asking if he had seen the game. (Ya see, he loves the Steelers cause he's confused.)

what a win. and yeah, it was followed by 2 MASSIVE 30 point blow outs by division rivals Chargers and Broncos, i'll still call that win over Pittsburgh a good win. fuck em.

whelp...

thats all i got. there are some other great games, the super bowl between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots. or even last year, the Steelers vs Cardinals. great games.

but those games above are the ones that i'll always keep with me. when i remember the 2000's in sports.

also, Manchester United is amazing and i couldn't decide on 1 or 2 games that were most memorable (consider i seldom watch the games.) but they are amazing and fun to watch when i get the chance.

the end.

i love christmas

well well well, it's time for a blog. eh? a blog. sounds about right. let's check the time... yes, infact, it is time for a blog.

it is also christmas time. and so, why not, be time for a christmas blog. bing-bang-boom, we got us a christmas blog.

i love christmas. and pretty much everything about it. i even love the religious shit that i don't really love, but this time of year, i give it a pass.

so what am i going to say about christmas in here? well, i am not sure. how about a list of my 6 favorite christmas movies? i seem to be good at lists these days.

6. Gremlins

Ya motherfucker. Gremlins.
5. Elf

I love Zooey Deschanel.
4. Bad Santa

"It's a wooden pickle"
3. Scrooged

"I never liked a girl well enough to give her 12 sharp knives."
2. A Muppet Christmas Carol

1. Every other version of A Christmas Carol ever filmed

yes even, the one i have saved on my DVR where Marley is voiced by Nicholas Cage and the Trinity Broadcasting Networks "call and donate to God's love" phone number is scrolling across the bottom.

so, after seeing my list of my 6 favorite christmas movies, i can assume that you learned one thing about me. i love the charles dickens classic, A Christmas Carol.

when i was a kid, on christmas eve i used to stay up late and watch it on PBS. this was the version from 1951 with Alastair Sim. i couldn't get enough of scrooge and company.

while visiting london in 2007, my fiance stacie (you know stacie, well, i am sure you have met her.) got us tickets to a stage performance for December 23rd. christmas eve, eve. in london. it was wonderful.

now, other things i like about christmas: the cartoons/stop motion animated specials. should i make a list?

6. Santa Claus is Coming to Town
5. Year Without Santa Claus
4. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
3. Frosty the Snowman
2. A Charlie Brown Christmas
1. Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer

well looks at that. those are some good picks eh? my favorite, of course, is Rudolf because it is so good. i just watched it last week, and yes, it is the best. made my stomach feel warm and my heart feel not dark and buried. (note: my heart is not dark nor buried).

so what else do we got on the topic of christmas? oh, i was Santa Claus once. yeah i was. 5th grade mother fuckers.

what i remember from the story is that due to some faulty planning, christmas was going to be canceled. (snap, didn't see that coming). but to fix it, mrs. claus, the elves, reindeer and myself had to go to the only logical place on earth in a time of dire straits. FUCKING BRANSON, MISSOURI. no joke. it was a country christmas. now, i had stuffed my belly full of pillows and under them stage lights it sure was warm, so i come in and out on the memories of the evening, but i do recall a sea of jean jackets and bowl cuts, all around.

also, i was frosty the snow man once in a school play. i played him, the only way i knew how, ala rodney dangerfield as a crack stand up comic.

me: "i'm telling you it's cold out here."
crowd: "how cold is it Frosty?"
me: "it's so cold, you'll need two sets of gloves."
crowd: laughter, solid laughter, for 11 minutes*.

*glenwood middle school record for funniest mother fucker to hold a candy cane.

ah, those were some silly memories. another reason i love christmas is my birthday is so close to it. a short 10 days before. now some december birthday dickheads will complain that they get screwed on presents. well to them i say, have a more loving family (or stop being dickheads). cause i always did well.

well, thats about all i have to say on the subject. i planned on ending this with a photo of our christmas tree. you see punkins (can i call you punkins?) this is the first year that we have had a real christmas tree. and by real tree, i of course mean a fake tree, but it is tall and has lights and what not. but since we cannot find the pieces to make a photo from our camera become a photo on our computer, that will have to wait.

so what i will leave you with is this, the greatest christmas internet video of all time. but i should warn you, it is also one of the most offensive and vulgar videos of all time. so go ahead and watch at your own risk.